WHAT AM I TO LOSE?

It's 1:21 AM and am sitting in front my my office PC. Thinking that tonight's my last shift here at BFM. Four days from now, I will be in a different company. I will have new sets of responsibilities. I will see new faces, hear new back-fence talks. I will use a new PC, sit on a new computer chair. I will have to deal with a new boss. In a nutshell, it's most likely a whole new adventure for me. Yes, I am pretty much excited about it but I also oftentimes ponder on the things that I'd lose that go hand-in-hand with my transfer.

Just a few months ago, I frequently expressed to my dabarkads from my old company about my frustrations in my career. They saw how moody I can get when I feel I'm genuinely defeated by my frustrations. We called it our "quarter-life crisis." Because of this, I was crazy at some point and depressed almost most of the time. I was stricken. But in the end, I always ended up okay. I never earnestly grasped the idea that I always ended up feeling all right because they listened. I had a company (and by company, I mean friends). And I am very grateful that one day, one of them told me that each of us has a "special opportunity to keep moving-on." We'll just have to look for it.

I began searching myself again. I reconsidered what I really want to do, what I really want to achieve. I looked for opportunities and found ways to move-on. I grabbed the initial steps. And here I am now, hopeful that I am back-on-my-track.

With my transfer, I am sure to lose my bitter pill, my frustration. Yes, I am finally moving-on and I should be happy...but not completely.

You see, I was with my dabarkadz from my old company when I experienced uttermost depression. I was with them when, for me, life seemed difficult. We talked about our lives. And because we stood by one another, we made each other strong. They are the reason why I am here, why I chose to regain my strength to move-on. Because of the bond with each other, it gave us a chance to exchange our thoughts about so many things until such time that I got hit in the head and realized that I can be ready to carry on. And then I did something about it that led me to my present place.

Going back to the present, what do I have to lose with my transfer? It's being with my dabarkads everyday...the bonding moments with them. It's a hard deal. But one thing's for sure and that is, I can always say that my fondness and trust for them never ever failed me. I can always bring the memories with the dabarkadz wherever I go.

Who knows, my kids will be calling them "tito's and tita's?"